yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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