Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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