i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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