Umm I'm too high to move.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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