her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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