Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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