I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I believe in your delicious
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
