I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
well you can't waste a boner
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
