I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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