note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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