he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
