There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize