My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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