i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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