Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
