I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
