i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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