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PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
