Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
