She announced her abortion via fbk
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
