Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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