After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
