Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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