This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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