So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
