I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
