So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
