i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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