what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
