did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
