so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
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