I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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