At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
high people should be assigned attendants
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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