A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
