When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
