There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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