don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
