I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
