Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize