so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
then he tried to convert me to islam
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
