I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
