I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
