i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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