just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
