you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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