don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just had sex on a roof
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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