i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
