Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
