READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
