I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
