I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
