Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
