You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
