I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
operation harelip BJ is a go
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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