she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Bring me that man meat
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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