Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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